We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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