So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I need water and some morals
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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