Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
