i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
