Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize