i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
