What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
