4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
