Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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