And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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