yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
