I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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