I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
