i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
