the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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