Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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