Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
