OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
