I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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