You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
