D3 body, D1 cock
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
