I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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