btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
