I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
