I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
