the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
