You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize