yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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