Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
His nipple licking is glorious
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