Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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