so that wasnt chicken after all
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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