I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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