Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
