Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
