you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
