the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
