i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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