the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you would pick up someone in the library
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
