You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize