You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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