hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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