If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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