my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
