I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
