I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize