wrigley field is MILF paradise
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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