We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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