butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
