Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize