Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
