i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
