so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
