Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
