Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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