the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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