Swine flu is the new snow day.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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