I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
