I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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