I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
