He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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