I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
