Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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