Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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