i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
