i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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