I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
