Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
