dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
false alarm, still single
Randomize
