stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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