the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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