Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
