It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
