She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
