i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
