im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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