i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
P.S. I can't hear my feet
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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