naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
