Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize