Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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