I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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