i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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